William Oakes

I

don’t have to have ANYONE approve of my decisions.

I don’t need anyone to make me happy anymore.

I have learned to let go and get my life back on a better note.

Each day, I see how blessed I am in different ways.

I think about the people out there in this world who are going through WAY more things than I could ever handle.

I have NO excuse for my reasons to being “sad.”

That’s why I have learned that there is more out there in this world than just one person who could take control of your feelings.

You have to grip the reigns in your life and be determined to drive where YOU want to go.

Give God your personal thoughts and feelings and He promises good and to heal.

No one should ever tell you that YOU CANNOT.

That is a challenge, to me.

I’m trying to learn to let go of the unmeaningful negativity in my life.

It isn’t healthy to be around those who ONLY bring you down.

Be with those who support and care.

Just also, try to love everyone, even though it’s hard to love your neighbor, but it’s the right thing to do because EVERYONE is struggling with some battle(s).

That’s all.

Peace, William.

This sucks.
To feel like you have lost everything.
I just want someone to ACTUALLY give a shit and be there for me.

Thank you

For giving me every reason to go.
Thank you.
BYE.

I don’t ever get on here anymore.
But things are definitely changing.
For better and worse.
School at FHU is starting to kick in.
I love my best friends and can’t imagine leaving them.
I just have a lot to think about.
Plus the dating/love life is a shattered disaster in which I’m waiting for someone better to come along.
The dreams I have, are so big that it could really take over the emptiness I have.
I just really need to learn how to spread my wings.
I couldn’t be happier though.
That’s the attitude I’m trying to achieve.
Well enough venting. Good night.

Here it goes again

Well it’s been a while.
Life is treating me absolutely well.
But, I do get lonely.
People can be extremely cruel.
The power that someone can have over you can be detrimental to yourself.
I’ve been pushed around for way too long.
I try to cope with things by thinking and planning for my future but that just makes me not want to do anything because I want what I didn’t get. (someone may think I’m talking about them, uh nope sorry not today)
This is a serious matter because part of me is gone and I never feel like myself.
I hate this and it’s making me hate myself.

I don’t see why people have to lie to me. The truth doesn’t hurt. But on another good note I’m getting my new baby! I’m so excited!

I’m so furious.
How does some from the past who treated you horribly, have so much control over you today?
This is starting to become an everyday problem and I have to deal with it.
I am trying to find what I need to be working toward.
College is starting to overwhelm
me to the point that I feel like I don’t need it.
I just honestly don’t know how to find my peace and my happiness.
Someone took it from me a while back.
They still have it.
Ugh. And today, out of all days, on
Sunday I felt so depressed. I haven’t felt this way since 3 years ago and I thought I was better but apparently it’ll will catch up.
At this point I’m only looking forward to either running away somewhere new or dying. Of course, suicidal isn’t what I’d hope. But you catch my drift.
I’m so sick of this earth and the people.
I may seem fine but really I’m not and I don’t have a single soul to go to and confide in. Not one.

Don’t

Let that head of yours get too big, hon.
I’ve heard some low down things.
Why would I?
I tried to be your friend and build a good friendship but some people never step out of their rituals and get to know other people.
Two can play a game…

Everything is getting on track.
I’m getting things figured out finally.
If college doesn’t work out, I think I’ll become a monk in Austria.
I could still adopt kids right?
Lol.
Things are wonderful. I’ve realized that I love writing.
Instead of paying any attention in biology I spent a lot of time writing almost 3 pages on my faith.
I wrote things like you would see in Psalms.
I enjoy it.
I want to apologize to everyone for my “religion” talk all the time.
How can I not talk about something that I might be called to do?
I just want everyone to know that I don’t mean to be a religious type person. I just love to express my thirst for a lovely conversation about our savior! I believe encouragement in our faith is a big part about being a Christian. We should lift each other up in hope and love.
On another note, I’m eager for living life now. I really want to go do things. Like go to Africa and other countries to explore and build relationships all over the world.
I’m trying to look at the world as if I’m on my death bed and I can say that I have no regrets.
I feel so limited to the things I can do.
But that’s gonna change.
I’m still hoping to find the right person.
But that’s not a priority.
Friends are all I need for now.
Well I think I’ve blabbed on enough.
Night!

Rants and…waves?

So, I have a many things to rant about.

Nothing bad, in particular.

I’m thankful for the doors that are being opened for me by God.

I have incredible joy about my dreams and plans.

I’m slowing and trying to piece this busy, broken boy back together.

I, by no means, am perfect.

My main prayer is to find strength to change.

I want to stop putting myself in situations that I don’t need to be in.

There are things I choose to do instead of maybe praying to not do them.

My heart, mind, and soul are thirty for praise and worship to God all the time.

I can’t explain how much God has been so good.

O my soul, arise and bless your Maker!

Life has its querks and jerks.

God didn’t promise a perfect life on earth.

Mistakes and down falls turn into grace and goodness.

I, most of the time, think to myself about how much I want to go be with the Lord.

I want Him to come back so badly.

The struggles and turmoils of this earth are not to be forever.

I’m ready for God’s new glorious kingdom.

Where we all join in together as one and praise God.

No matter who you are, God loves you.

His Kingdom awaits us.

To forever be children who are happy, holy, and full of laughter.

I cannot grasp the understanding of what should really be done on this earth.

I know that we should, by faith, create a relationship with our Creator.

My point of all this is that I’m ready to be at my final destination.

I’m ready to be home and at a place full of perfect happiness.

This earth could never make me completely happy.

Only God can fulfill that space.

Today, I have realized that I’m not going to ever date again or be with someone.

It’s too impossible to even think about.

I’ve been left with a big hole in my heart.

I honestly think about this person everyday and want to know what they are doing.

I miss the times we had.

Staying out late and going to crazy places.

Being out in the warmth of summer.

I think about you everyday.

How can one person have so much control?

Even when they neglected you or treated you wrong?

I feel like I never will let go. Ever.

I have been driving by your house a lot.

Because, I really miss you.

All I have is this love that I am ready to start giving to people that matter.

I’m just tired.

Tired of this road of anger and broken-hearts.

I put on this face everyday.

Like I’m okay… But I am not.

I’m tired of being used and talked down to by these other humans.

AGAIN, I say this freguently, but I don’t want anyone to throw me a pity party.

I am ranting the things I don’t tell to people face-to-face.

All I want, is this life full of happiness.

Someone once told me, that I do not have to make everyone happy.

People love to twist my words and get angry when they don’t know the whole story.

I was also told not to take crap from anyone.

I do and I actually eat it.

Pathetic…

I should be living my dream.

You just keep bashing at me and my life.
Please continue.
It is only making me stronger.
Today has been so amazing enough to let me know that I am on my way to the kind of future I want.
I’m grateful.
Sure, i don’t have support from many people like I’d hoped I would have, but it’s getting better.
I’m feeling more peace.
I feel like I can finally be strong enough to control my feelings.
Another thing on my mind, I miss holding a woman and sharing love with one another.
I know it’s corny, but it’s sort of the truth.
I’m ready for this awesome girl to come along and remind me everyday of why I live and what I can do to change this world with my own decisions.
Deep right?
A guy can only hope for a girl like that.
I’m going to find you, hon.
We will know.
(if you are a pastor lady, that would turn me on lol)
I had to say it lol.
I’m real bubbly and happy now.
I am gonna go catch some Zzz’s and dream of good things!
Peace.

If I had it my way, I wouldn’t have you be alone. #oomf

It’s almost official…

I spoke to a longtime friend of mine who is the music minister at First United Methodist Church.

He was understanding my dilemma on finding a new church.

So we met at Buckhead and spoke…….

SO this Sunday I will be meeting with the Pastors at FUMC about placing my membership with them.

I’m extremely excited, especially to renew my baptismal vows and confessions.

I’m so ready to be involved at a church.

My old church, I could never get involved without feeling uncomfortable.

THANK YOU, GOD FOR OPENING UP NEW DOORS FOR ME.

My parents are supportive and some other people I know aren’t too supportive because I guess I will “lose my salvation in Jesus” for becoming a member at a different denomination.

I am happy, people.

I AM HAPPY!

I plan to be in choir, too.

Gospel music is like one of my passions.

I feel like I can truly worship when I sing gospel music.

My next step for this life, is to figure out school.

Divinity school is in mind.

THE SUN IS SHINING TODAY SO GO OUT AND SMILE IN THE WORLD!

:D

Hm…

I wasn’t good enough.
That’s why I won’t say anything.
So I’m pleased with this contentment.

I’m in love

I want Jesus to fix me.
There is a lot wrong with me.
Jesus is the only one that has ever been there for me.
And I’m just glad about that.
I see him when I see children play and laugh.
I feel him when the sun shines on my days of smiles.
He’s in every situation everyday.
He’s my everything and I want to feel his precsence always.
Oh thank you Jesus for your love, your AMAZING love!
I want to express raise my voice and shout joyful noise.
I love you for making my life have meaning.